Do you ever have one of those customers that just wants to bleed you for information but doesn’t want to buy anything?  One of those types that are so cheap they look over the top of their glasses so they don’t wear them out? Such was Mr. P who owned a convenience store in Danbury CT.  He wanted to buy another convenience store in Connecticut and was asking me for help. 

I’m not sure at what point someone becomes a total time waster, but Mr. P was way past that point. This guy called me Monday through Friday, usually for 30-60 minutes at a time and asked me about any and everything to do with financing.  (Trust me, there’s not THAT much) 

Now, our website has a LOT of information.  More than anyone by far that deals in this space.  I said “Mr P, all this stuff is on our website” but he told me rather hear it from me.  I wasn’t sure if I felt complimented or not.  I got to a point where I’d see his name pop up on my caller ID and I’d either cringe or eye roll or both.  

One day I’d had it.  I asked “Mr. P, what would you do if someone person came in your store for a month, walked around, went to your magazine rack, read magazines for a half hour or an hour, ask you for a cup for some free water but he never bought anything?”  He said “I’d tell him, if you’re not going to buy anything in my store, I’d tell him to get the F out of my store!”

“Mr. P.  Get the F out of my store.”

He started laughing really loudly.  “That was good.  That was funny.  I see what you’re doing here.” 

I wanted to say “You pick up quickly don’t you?” but I kept quiet.  

It was at that point he started to take me seriously to actually use us for financing.  I don’t know if that line will work on everybody, but it probably will at least get a laugh.